10 December

This morning I went to the doctor and had a discagram done. This is what came from it: my back is worse than what they thought that it was. The dye that they put into my back showed that my back is much worse than anticipated - especially from the MRI. L2 was slightly bulging, L3 is very thin on the cartilage (the dye actually went out of the area and he said that was bad) and then L4 is resting on L5 - so I have bone on bone. When Dr. Marsh actually went in and did the L5 area, he immediately said that he understood why I was in so much pain because there wasn't a vertebrae there. I didn't understand him at first, but I saw the x-ray. He was more than a bit surprised and irritated with what the information from the MRI was not correct. I also had a CT Scan to verify what was going on and Dr. Marsh also said that if anyone was thinking that I was making things up that he now had the right information to prove them different. I'm just glad that I wasn't just "thinking" that I was hurting. Dr. Marsh also told me that I may have to have a surgery that would be more of a major life change that would take me a year to recuperate from. I don't know how I feel about that. All I know is that I want to stop hurting - that's all. So - my prayer today was the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare my table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.