As a society, we are constantly told in several ways how we are to be perfect: the perfect weight, the perfect height, the perfect whatever the case might be. We are always wanting to be on the other side of the fence. The straight haired girls want curly hair. The blonde's want to be true brunettes... or vise versa.
I've heard that in our dreams, we see ourselves as we want to be - the thin, drop dead gorgeous person, who turns all the guys heads, the one who has all the friends, the one who people just love to be around and with; the one who doesn't have any problems.
Perfection.
We constantly look for it and we constantly want it... and the diet industry is making a fortune off of us. It's so annoying... frustrating and just plain depressing.
As one who has been fighting for years with my weight to get down to what society wants me to be - I think that I would look a bit sick if I got down to that weight again. The chart that I looked at says that a woman who is six foot tall should way at one hundred and sixty (160) pounds.
I'd love to be that weight...
I'd love to be able to have that body that I can wear a bikini.
It's not that I don't want to lose the weight. I do. It has to do with the fact that I can't get away from snacking foods. I know that when I was on the Atkin's Diet (no carbs) I lost weight - and then as soon as I got past that first two weeks (the Induction Phase) you can slowly start adding the carbs back in. It's doing that and sticking to not eating any bread, any carbohydrates which is the issue. You start to crave the bread.
I've tried other diets, too. It doesn't matter how many I've tried, it doesn't matter anymore. I just know that I need to lose the weight that I've gained back again.
My husband had Gastric Sleeve surgery done in January of 2008. He had an issue with loving food and it didn't help that when I got pregnant with our children that I had the baby / babies and he kept gaining. This surgery took 80 % of his stomach away - especially the lower half which contains the "empty feeling" that makes you want to eat. He's now lost over 190 pounds since January.
Since January, I've lost ten pounds and now have gained the same ten back. It's frustrating. It's aggravating. It's depressing. So, either I can bite the bullet and just diet and exercise until I drop, or I can just say screw it and just continue to gain weight.
I guess that I just needed to get this out of my system. I'm not looking for: "Oh, MJ, you're not fat," or "MJ, don't think that way," or even any kind of comment from anyone who reads this blog.
~MJ
