Monday, 16 February

Another month had gone by and I'm grateful for many things.  One of them being new medicine.

Buprenorphine.  It's a medication that doctors normally give to people who are dependent on opiates (heroin, cocaine, oxycodon,etc.) to help them level out.   In my case, it's used for giving pain relief.  It's helping but it's side effects are a little troublesome. 

Some side effects are: headache, stomach pain, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and persperation.  Others can be serious but not as common:  difficulty breathing or swallowing, slowed breathing, upset stomach, extreme tiredness, unusual bleeding or bruising, loss of appetite, pain in the upper right part of the stomach, and flu-like symptoms.

So far after now that I'm on the second week, I  can say that the headaches are coming and going,  there has been some stomach pain,  the perspiration is a BIG pain in the butt, and tonight the nausea really kicked me in the butt.
Blech.  HOWEVER, it's helping with the pain... and that I'm thankful for.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will continue to work!

Thursday, 1 January

2015.  A new year. 

Many things have happened this past year and its too much to type it all out.  I've got to blog more often.

Lots of audio has been made.  Lots of things changed.

We dropped Michael off at the airport to go back to Meridian, Mississippi.  He's there until Jan 18th when he leaves to go to sub school in Connecticut.  It's sad to see him go, but he's ready to go back.  It was nice to have him home. 
We drove by Le Cordon Bleu to see where we will have to go tomorrow to meet up with a gentleman who is going to show us the facility.   I think that Mason is kinda looking forward to it.  I sure hope that he truly tries his hand at this instead of screwing around.

04 January - Saturday

I woke up today feeling miserable. Congested and just lousy feeling and my eye was matted over.  Not fun.   Cedar is way up and it sucks.  Blah.  I got up, ate, took meds and went back to bed.  Got up about noon to get some work done, but all I did was clean up the kitchen.

Matt and the boys worked on the small chores that needed to be done around the house.  Little things that make a difference... and even though there were some tense moments, I'm glad that they worked well together.

Dean and LeAnn came over and I gave Dean his afghan.   He liked it!  Yay!  :) 

I was able to finish up episode 05 this evening.   I may need to fix a few things,  but that's ok.  Being able to get these done in a rather quick time is very important to me... At least I'm on top of it and will try my best to keep up the consistent work.

**

03 January - Friday

We went again to the doctor today to see what is up with Mason's back.  I didn't look at the x-ray discs that they gave to us the other day. They didn't show an issue that Dr. Robinson saw... but he wants us to take Mason to a spine specialist in Georgetown.   I'll schedule it on Monday.   I hate to think that there is something wrong with his back.

I'm progressing with Episode 05.  I'm thoroughly enjoying working on Powder River.   It's something different then what I've done  before but I'm liking it.   I love creating an audio.  It doesn't matter what it is.

**

02 January - Thursday

It's been a rather cold day in Texas making me just want to stay in and snuggle under the covers and watch tv.  Didn't do that though.

I took Mason to get an x-ray today of his back.  I'm praying that he has nothing wrong with it.

When we got home,  we cleaned a little then I started working more of Powder River.  Need to relisten to what I did so that I can make sure it's right before I send it over to Jerry.  10 minutes done.   Not too shabby.

I'm so not ready to go back to school.   I don't want to even think about it but it's slowly creeping back up.   Bah.  Humbug.

**

01 January - Wednesday

2014. A New Year - a new year with new goals and aspirations in mind - new beginnings in various ways. One could start out with New Year Resolutions and most of the time those resolutions either come back to bite you in the butt or they fail miserably.

Did I make any New Years Resolutions? No. Perhaps I should have, but I didn't this year probably because they have failed in the past. So - this year, I'm not going to make a one. We'll just see how the next 364 days work out - shall we?

We decided to process the deer that we shot at Sandstone Ranch. It was only 2 deer that we processed in house (the deer cut and quartered from the ranch and brought in to take the meat off the bone, cut it into steaks and and mix it with beef tallow to have our own chili/hamburger meat). The other two deer, we took to someone to make into breakfast sausage and sausage links. With Matt's mom and dad and the boys here to help, we got through it in rather a short period of time then made lunch with stuffed chicken. It was very good and I'm glad that mom brought over that salad that we had at the Ranch that Deborah made. I can't wait to make it here so that I can have a big bowl of it whenever I want it!

The salad was called - Overnight Salad. It has the following in it: A head of lettuce, a head of cauliflower, chives cut up, a pound of fried crumbed bacon, 1 1/4 cups of mayo, 1/4 cup of sugar (or sugar substitute), 1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese. Mix it all up together and put in the refrigerator. It can sit over night and eat it or you can have it after it has chilled for awhile. Mom added more to hers - peas and eggs. Matt suggested putting broccoli in it as well - and that sounds just as good!

As far as working on audio today, I was able to work more on Powder River. I have been doing something a bit different this time especially since I have 6 episodes that Jerry would like to have done by February. I already made a session for each of the episodes and have gone through and found out what I need to get from Jerry in regards of vocals and what not. I've even done a brief cut of all the lines in an effort to make things go a bit more swiftly. I've heard the actors say their lines for these episodes and wow... it's going to be one bumpy ride. I think that the public will really get a surprise with this season.

I was able to finish up the first episode entitled: A Single Bullet - the other night. There are some changes that I'll have to do that Jerry told me about today, but it's very minor things - a reverb change and a change in character.

Everything is going okay with Michael and Mason. We have an x-ray appointment tomorrow at 11:15 and then another doctor's appointment on Friday to find out the results. Here's to hoping that there is nothing wrong with his back and that he will be able to get into the Navy if that is what he really wants to do. I know that he wants to be a cook as well, but I just want him happy - no matter what. Michael will be a Yeoman Submariner in the Navy. He's so super excited! Haven't heard too much from Meghan - but I know that she's happy with Justin in Belgium. She's told us in the past couple of months that she's thinking of joining the Navy - and going to school... but at this point, I think that she's playing wife and having too much fun. I'm okay with that too - as long as she goes and finishes up her school at some point.

As far as my back is concerned... well, what more is there to say? I'm laying back on pillows writing this, and wanting to take medicine so that the pain would ease where the hard knot is on my upper hip (where the battery is). I think that they put in the battery a bit too high because there is a knot now where my pants sit and the pants are not the cause of it. Pain Management doctor prescribed a medication that I should be able to apply to it, however, it has not made it to me yet. I had to call and get on their list before they could send it to me. It's something that might be a bit more potent than just taking a Vicodan or what have you (which doesn't help me in the slightest anyway). Now all it does is just make me awake at night - so I have to take even more medicine to sleep. Fun. So, I try not to take it at night anyway.

School starts on the 6th. I need this semester to really fly by... I don't know how much longer I'll be able to work in Killeen. I'm going to have to start looking around or get a transfer to another school in Killeen. Either way, I think that after 9 years that I'm going to have to get a change of scenery. Regardless - I'm hoping that this last couple of months will just fly by.

**

29 December - Hunting

On Friday, 27 December, our family went to Debra and Kyle Spillar's ranch - The Sandstone Ranch and went to hunt for deer. We were successful for the most part - Michael shot an 8 point buck and Mason shot a doe. Matt and Mike also shot a doe. 4 deer were shot. That means that the processing of deer will commence here fairly soon.

We took Little Britches with us and she's been extremely clingy. It's amazing how when we are at home, she's Matt's dog and then when we go anywhere else, I'm her personal holder and all over everything.

The Sandstone Ranch is very beautiful - even in the winter and we were given a thorough tour of it. Kyle took us to a point where there is an unnamed grave. Kyle and Debra have no idea who is buried there but it was found in 1880. Very cool though. It's about 6'6" in length and surrounded in stone. I wish that I had taken my phone so that I could have gotten a picture of it.

I did take my computer with us to the Ranch and I'm glad that I did - I was able to work a little on the newest episode of Powder River. It's very heavy laden in sound effects. The episodes aren't long ones - only 30 minutes an episode, but with all the effects, it makes it a little bit more difficult to put together than Beacon Hill.

I was told that soon after I get finished with this one that I would be able to get started (hopefully) on House Royale. It's going to be very similar to Beacon Hill except that it's set right before the Civil War. Can't wait to see how that's going to pan out.

A few more days and the end of the year will fade away and a new one begin. I'm not sure what kind of New Year's Resolutions that I will make - or if I'll make any at all. We shall see.

23 December

Many a day has passed since I have written in my little blog that I'm sure gets barely read. I'm not too worried about it being read as it's just a place where I can blow off some steam - get some things written down and out of my system or just a place to put some scriptures down to remind me later what I need.

A recent book that I bought says: Truth in your words, humility in your actions and kindness in your heart.

I do my best to do all three of these things - and yet that dratted devil doesn't help matters and butts in where he's not needed nor wanted.

So - here are some true words. I love my friends and family and wish them only happiness and healthiness. I wish them to have a very merry Christmas and hope and pray that their new year will be one that is blessed beyond measure.

I'm hoping that this next year will be a good one that it will bring me a little bit more rest and relaxation and not have so much to worry with - especially with my back. It's better - but of course, there is a spot - a knot of a sort right above the battery of the spinal stimulator that is bothering me.

Here's to hoping that everything works out well and that blessings abound.

21 July

I am currently in Destin, Florida for a family reunion - yet my immediate family is nowhere near me! Meghan and Justin are in Belgium; Mike, Matt, Mason and Michael are in Alaska and Joy is in Texas. This is the furthest away that I've been from my immediate family. It's wild.

I will say and will save up some pictures to put up on Facebook that Destin is very nice. I'm surprised at how the white sands are. And the waves!? Oh holy cow - the waves are wild and fast and rough as hell. Bodacious is what I called them earlier. Lots of seaweed, but then again the current was up and about, too.

MJ

15 April

All that I can say is that - the Boston Marathon ended when there were bombs that went off in the crowd. At least three people died and over a hundred forty people were injured. Just as a late night update - there was 5 bombs. At least the police got the other bombs before any other people got hurt.

A very sad Patriotic day - but after talking and seeing various people's posts who live in Boston - I believe that Boston will come back even stronger and retaliate on whoever did this to them.

I'll put here the same thing that I put on Facebook:

I have listened and watched for awhile now and have talked with various people from the Boston Area who are friends - even acquaintances of mine. My heart and prayers are with everyone in Boston.

May God's ever loving hands spread to everyone hurt in any way from this disaster. May your healing hands be placed in the hands of the doctors as they assist those who come to them. Wrap your arms around the families of those that are going to be with you. Keep your arms around Boston and around America as we come together again to help out in any way that we can. Show us that we are greater than the evil that is in the world - as we have seen from those who have helped today in this horrible tragedy. In Jesus name I pray... Amen.

03 January

03 January 2013

I guess that it's a lot like getting on a bike and just keep going - right? Even when you are down and out and wishing that you could just forget about things - you keep going on.

It's not like you can just quit. You can't. You have to keep going and doing.

I know that I'm not making any sense right now - but I'm wondering if I need to make sense. Anything can be like that - right? Riding a bike - getting back in the saddle and trying again. It has to be. Grit your teeth and bare it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today's scripture:
Mark 8:31
And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.

Why someone would do that for me - suffer for me is beyond my comprehension. I know that with the pain that I have been through the past couple of years that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. And here is the Son of Man taking on all kinds of things to help *me*. That people would reject him and persecute him and then after rise again - showing how merciful and gracious he is. Amazing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I can't help but wonder about how the rest of the school year is going to play out. I just hope that it zings past and that things will be smooth. I really need that right now - a smoothness to the rest of the year. I'm tired of all the topsy - turvy stuff that is going on.

~MJ

02 January

02 January 2013

Yes a new Wednesday of the New Year. Yay for Wednesday's! :)

Still working on Episode 5 of Beacon Hill. Things are going well on it and I have a little bit more to do before I send it up to Jerry for the final listen to. I honestly think that it's sounding really good. The actors are awesome, and I'm really enjoying the process of making the "monster" come to life.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The version today on the Daily Devotional was Matthew 22:37 -
Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

Yes, and I believe that I do. It would only be right, now wouldn't it? He must come first before anyone so that you're love to the next one would be the right one.

I'm currently in the process of finishing up the very last of the audio drama Left Behind. It's an awesome construction of the stories and the characters - seem to bond with you as you're listening to them. It's amazing and I would recommend it to anyone who needs to feel uplifted and warm to the fact of what Jesus did for them. AMAZING WORK!

I don't mean to put any other audio drama company down, but this was one of the best that I have ever heard. Had to have been done in a studio - because you can't hear ANYTHING in the background - no hiss, no noise, nothing but the magical music and the awesome acting that comes through as well.

And yes, I'm going to say it here as well... the best audio actor now that I have ever heard is from that story - the man who played Rayford Steele - Tom McElroy. He's from Chicago and he is absolutely amazing to listen to and I don't care if you are man, woman or child, when you listen to some of the things that is said - you will cry and if you don't - you don't have a caring heart in your soul. If this doesn't touch you in some way, shape or form, that's it - you're missing out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Enough gushing. It's late and I need to get some sleep. Again, thanks for reading and putting up with my rantings.

~MJ

01 January

Sixty four days ago, I looked for an app on my phone so that I could have a daily devotional. I have thoroughly enjoyed opening up the application and reading the bible through my phone and even listening to it through my phone.

The verse today was Isaiah 26:3 : You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. NIV

When it comes to the bible, and the Lord's word - I guess that I'm a slow learner. There has been so many times when I want to do things my way and I know that in the long run that God's going to get his way.

This whole ordeal with my back has really changed the way that I have started any day. It was - "How am I going to make it through the day?" and "When will it ever end?" yet now, it's - "Thank you Lord, for helping me through the day and providing a haven for me when the pain gets bad."

I can only thank God for his work in my life and keeping me within his arms. Because I know that right now - during this time that he is carrying me through this time helping me through it all. Thank you for that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have been working on audio for Colonial Radio Theatre: On the Air. It's the show Beacon Hill. It's a great show and I'm currently working on Episode 5. The show is already airing on Sirius/XM. We'll see how people react to the show.

As far as health is concerned, I'm a little on the sick side. My throat bothering me and I've been coughing and hacking (which isn't good). I already have a little bit of a headache and will have to get away from the computer for a bit as well.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The other day while I was watching TV, I saw a show of a gentleman painting. It wasn't the best picture, but it was nice to watch the picture show up in front of him on the canvas. It makes me want to be able to learn.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't know if anyone reads this or not anymore... but at least I know that I can come back here and just write down things so that I can remember. With my memory being so wacky and out there at times, I think that this would be a good way for me to jot down things about my days here.

If you are reading - thanks for reading my ramblings.

~MJ

10 December

This morning I went to the doctor and had a discagram done. This is what came from it: my back is worse than what they thought that it was. The dye that they put into my back showed that my back is much worse than anticipated - especially from the MRI. L2 was slightly bulging, L3 is very thin on the cartilage (the dye actually went out of the area and he said that was bad) and then L4 is resting on L5 - so I have bone on bone. When Dr. Marsh actually went in and did the L5 area, he immediately said that he understood why I was in so much pain because there wasn't a vertebrae there. I didn't understand him at first, but I saw the x-ray. He was more than a bit surprised and irritated with what the information from the MRI was not correct. I also had a CT Scan to verify what was going on and Dr. Marsh also said that if anyone was thinking that I was making things up that he now had the right information to prove them different. I'm just glad that I wasn't just "thinking" that I was hurting. Dr. Marsh also told me that I may have to have a surgery that would be more of a major life change that would take me a year to recuperate from. I don't know how I feel about that. All I know is that I want to stop hurting - that's all. So - my prayer today was the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare my table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.

Pain and God

I have has various people pray for my back.

I would like to think that those prayers have happened and that God has answered.  I believe that God is leaving it in the hands of the doctors.

All I pray is that a peace will come over me at some point. 

31 Dec 2011

It's the last day / evening of 2011.  A new year is about to begin.  My last post of this year.

I'm at home - not out and about to watch fireworks and celebrate the new year.  I'm with family and that's where I think that I need to be.  At least I know that I'm safe and sound.  I'm not out drinking - or in a car where there are people out and about that are drinking and driving. 

Looking back over the last year, there have been a lot of ups and downs.  Lots of pain, heartache and frustration in so many ways and yet - there were some of the most wonderful things that happened in my life.   Friends that I got to meet in person for the first time and even the second time.  New friends touching my life and getting a chance to touch them as well. 

We still have about 30 minutes left in the year of 2011... and in those 30 minutes I'm not going to make new years resolutions.  I have tried to do resolutions in the past and either something has happened and I wasn't able to keep up the resolution or I simply forgot about them.

So, instead of making resolutions - I'm just going to live life and enjoy it.  Enjoy my friends and family and pray and hope that all my friends and family are safe and happy. That's all that I can hope for anyway.  I'm not too worried about myself - I know that the people that I mingle with (co-workers and friends) will help me to keep my stress level down, my doctor(s) will help me with my back in one way or another, my family will keep me insane, school will keep me insane, and audio will help to relax me as usual. 

I am thankful for this year.... for my job.... for my friends.... for my family.... for everything.

May the year of 2012 be something that will bring more joy, more happiness, more healthiness, and less pain. 

~MJ 

11 December

It seems to me that no matter what I do I can't make it stop, so I might as well just deal with it take my medicine I should and just deal with the pain as best as I can.

I don't understand why the pain has moved.  All I know is that it has moved to the cyactic nerve in my butt.  It is super sensitive and even something laying on it or near it is just maddening.  Very frustrating.

Oh well.

04 December

I'm thinking about doing something that may mean for me to go back to school and I'm not sure if that's really what I want to do.  I "complain" about going to these specific meetings because I know that it takes me out of the classroom (away from my kids and teaching) and I'm thinking about applying for a job that will take me completely out of the classroom and into those meetings to do them consistantly.  It's more of a paper job, but I wouldn't be totally away from the kids.  I would be there for the kids making sure that their accommodations and modifications were taken care of.  I don't know if I should of shouldn't do it. 

I'm thinking about it.  I'm not sure.  I know that I would miss being in the class, but the thing is that I'm not totally prepared for this job.  I don't have the certification that is needed.  That doesn't mean that I can't go back to school and get it while doing the position.  It just means that I would have to go back to school - take classes to become - I could become a principal.  It would mean a pay increase, but I'm still debating with myself. 

I guess that the only thing that's honestly stopping me from doing it is the mid-management certification.  I'm going to talk with my principal soon... to see if he's even willing to think about it.

Hmmm.

27 Nov - Seasons

Seasons... I get it.  I do, however, this constant move to get more and more money from the consumer is just getting to be a bit overwhelming.  I do understand the true reason for the Christmas season and it has nothing to do with buying more and more things for people who have so much more than some will ever get in a long long time.  

Christ is the reason that we celebrate.  He was born during this time period (or at least we like to think so.)  I've seen so many things about buy this - buy that - get your loved one this or that.  I guess that I'm just tired of seeing and hearing more and more about how to celebrate this season through various television ads that it's more than frustrating.

Regardless of whatever religion you belong to; regardless of your faith; why can't we just celebrate the our Savior's birth and enjoy being together to celebrate it? 

That's all... 

~MJ

25 Nov - Thanksgiving

I have found that I have a lot of things to give thanks for - more than the norm of family, friends and health.  True, my health is fleeting and my back is giving me all kinds of new hell from the Radio Frequency - but I am thankful for everything that God hath given unto me. 


Wealth and prosperity - it's all something of a state of being...


~MJ